Thursday, October 7, 2010

Ask Dr. Eric and YumYum (aka Huckster & Hamster!)


"Dear Eric and YumYum,

On Halloween I really want to dress up as Glowz the Spider but I have agoraphobia.   What should I do?"

Please Help!
Lurker from Kalamazoo
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Yum and Eric look at one another quizzically.

Huh? You want this one, Hamster?

Sure, Doctor Lazy, I'll hit it.

Dear Lurker,
We are confused. Agoraphobia is an unnatural fear of open or public places.
Eric: Whereas, Arachnophobia is the scientific name for the fear of spiders...
YumYum: So, we first need to know whether or not you are afraid of going out on Holloween -
Eric: Or, if you are afraid of dressing up like Glowz for Holloween, which I completely understand
and even have a cure for!
At Molly the Owl Books we have a beautiful, sterling silver charm of Glowz that wards off ALL
phobias, empowering you to both dress up as Glows AND go out on Halloween and -
YumYum: Blehm! You shameless Huckster! Using a MOD's mental health issues to hawk your
wares on our Advice Column! How dare you?
Eric: As I was saying before the Hamster so rudely interrupted me, this charm is now going for the
low price of -
YumYum: You're not even a real doctor, Blehm!
Eric: No, but we are all together today signing your Molly the Owl books for delivery -
YumYum: We are here to give advice, not profit from other people's anxieties, Dude,
Eric: Fine. Dress up like "Shrek" and you'll be fine.
YumYum: "Donkey" would be a better choice, actually...
Eric: Speaking of Donkeys, we will be producing hand crafted, sterling silver donkey charms...
YumYum: Zip it UP, Blehm! And, by the way, how do you get off calling yourself a real doctor?
Eric: I am SO a real doctor!
YumYum: Then let me give you some first aid: I have some band-aids to cover your pie-hole, hold still!
Eric: MMMmmmmph! Schmer-link-Shliver-sharms...frrr..Onmly...$$$...

email us at And, remember, MODS: We Know Everything!

Who Loves Ya Baby?
Yum-Yum loves ya!
"Amd! Eef U ordrrr nw, ...Omly...Mud Speshul, omly $$$$!"
YumYum: Say good night, Eric. (YumYum rips off band-aids.)
Eric: "Good Night, Eric."
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  1. Just about fell off my chair laughing!

    Really, Eric, let's treat mental health issues seriously! Of course, I realize that since this advice column is on the MOD blog, it really can't be too awfully serious, can it??? is it??? am I wrong??? oh no, have I said too much??? now I'm feeling anxious -- perhaps I should just delete my whole comment -- oh, but then everybody would wonder what was said...yikes, now I'm going to have to change my name, move to a different city, die my hair, change everything about my appearance, etc. Am I being too paranoid??

    Feeling nauseous, might have to hork now. Need to go lie down.......

  2. DommyDom'sMom, hee-hee, we think you are funny!

  3. Am I funny or just crazy? Me thinks a bit of both!

  4. These are just hilarious posts. Thank you! Have you written a book? Do stand-up comedy? Want to come to Boise ID to do it? I'd come watch & listen! You have a fan along with the owls, maybe MANY!

  5. Dear Owlfan,
    Well, thank you, and yes I would love to do stand up except that, being only a few inches tall, the audience finds it hard to actually see me! And last time I stood up on a stool...well, we only speak of THAT in hushed whispers! Many thanks for your comments. Eric emailed me last night - and I quote: "Well, I haven't received any hate mail I guess we're good" or something like that, who remembers what he says, really? THANK YOU, I AM DEEPLY APPRECIATIVE OF
    APPRECIATION! Who Loves Ya, Owlfan? YumYum Loves Ya!